He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
