No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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