He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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