You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
