hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
All the doctor said was why
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
