the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
