proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize