so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
