i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
