my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
