at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
How external is "for external use only"?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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