I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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