I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
