shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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