i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
