i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
a search helicopter?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
