is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize