walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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