I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
