Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
