hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
