Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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