So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
