D3 body, D1 cock
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
