Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
