the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
