Just fell off a train. Bad.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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