can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
