So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
