Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
