Apparently you make a good broom.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
