I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
