I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
