My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
