I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
