no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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