Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
