Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
