I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
