Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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