Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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