The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
