his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
