it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
