i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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