on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
