just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize