After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
