i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
