marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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