my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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