I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
