i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
