I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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