Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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