At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He better not be in your backpack
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
