I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
