by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
