So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
